The Irony Of Poor Dental Hygiene And No Insurance

When I think of America I think of a few things. Freedom, multi-culturalisic values, and corn. It seems that in order to assimilate youself into our free society you just have to shop at Target. I’m not a Wal-Mart shopper but I don’t understand why Target doesn’t get shamed the same way Wal-Mart does. They carry most of the same products but generally sell them at a higher price. The customers are the same. I even heard a customer say “so, this is what a white people store look like”. As if only white people shop at Target. The other day I saw two Buddhist monks getting there picture taken outside the South Philly Target before going in to pick up the most auspicious graphic t “Irish I had a beer”. But what was most worth noting was the Asian lady with 15 six-packs of 24 I’d. Mountain Dew’s’ 4 gallons of milk and 4 fridge packs of Lipton Brisk Iced Tea. Need proof, here it is, instant American. Take ten years off my life please!

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Published in: on 25 January, 2009 at 8:17 pm  Leave a Comment  

If I Could Pick You Up…

How could my life be more complete? Kenny singing “Into The Night” by Benny Mardones, my favorite song of all tiime. Somebody else sung “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” but left out the “fucking”, lame.

Published in: on 9 January, 2009 at 12:07 am  Leave a Comment  

What God Hath Put Together Let No Man Cut Asunder

My cats are putting me into cuteness overload!

Published in: on 8 January, 2009 at 12:01 am  Leave a Comment  

Call Forth Your Spirit Animal

My STL was telling me about his morning yesterday where he interacted with a customer who’s watch was fast and was demanding to be let into the store. At that moment Ken was more concerned about something else. Our neighborhood has a hawk that seems to like Whole Foods Market’s all natural offerings. Fitting. Between our entrance and exit doors is a patch of ivy along a wood lattice structure built into the wall and awning. Its filled with small birds, sparrow or swallows or the like. Lately the hawk had been fling down towards the entrance and picking off the small birds. Yesterday was one of those days. Ken was telling the customer that we weren’t open yet and that she should be careful because this hawk was cracking open bird skulls right next to her. she didn’t care. “It’s 8:01, Let Me In!” she demanded. She eventually sneaked in through the exit doors and rushed back to the bakery for her pastries and coffee.

Later that day i went out back and noticed that the hawk was hanging out by our dumpster perched on a concrete half wall. I spoke quietly to the bird, “if i call on you, spirit animal, you will know what to do”. One day when i see that customer in our store demanding attention i will shriek out the call of the hawk and it will come swooping down and shred her shoulders like an iron gym and i would have avenged your broken spirit ken. all hail the Marlton Hawk.

marlton hawk

Published in: on 16 December, 2008 at 10:28 am  Comments (2)  

I’ve Been Blackened or I Think I Made A Huge Mistake

Awhile back i posted a video of my playing of Metallica’s Blackened from the video game Rock Band. I have never made any claims as to my skills as a lonely basement dwelling video game fanboy and apparently the internet constructive criticism elf never warned me about doing as such. i recently received a comment notification via email about a member who actually had been desperately combing YouTube looking for mind-blowing clips of guitar based video game virtuosity only to stumble upon my less then satisfying performance.

“Kooves666 has made a comment on Blackend (metallica) Hard Level:

fuck you pussy, get a life

You can reply to this comment by visiting the comments page.”

who could resist but follow up on such an eloquent statement.

i replied: “i appreciate the criticism. i will look into it.”

i also noticed that much earlier i received a comment about the video.

“ghostavenging666 (7 months ago)
buy a real one ;/”

i apologize to the entire YouTube community for wasting bandwidth with such utter trash. i was actually pleased with how i had been progressing in the game. serves me right.

Published in: on 6 November, 2008 at 9:29 pm  Comments (1)  

I Wish There Was Time Warp Potion To Bring Me Back To A Time Before Soulja Boy Tell Em.

I started paying attention to Soulja Boy. Partly because he has some terrible songs but mostly because he’s a gamer and says silly things much of the time.  He is the absolute king of wasting time. Watch this!

Published in: on 17 September, 2008 at 6:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

What A Year

I don’t know if you are familiar with The Criterion Collection. Its is a “continuing series of important classic and contemporary films on DVD” Its really about the quality and the special features.  Most of the latter films are mastered in HD and are available in anamorphic widescreen.  Its a rigorous process involving taking the original prints and cleaning them up.  Sourcing these original prints is absolutely insane sometimes, many no longer are available.  You really have to own one to appreciate the care that goes into the production.  I have been collecting these films since 1999 when i first purchased Brazil (spine no. 51) and i haven’t stopped yet. But this year has been especially fruitful for me as a collector because a few important titles i love have been released.  It began with Days Of Heaven (spine no. 409), a breathtaking flim by director Terrence Malick. Then followed Two-Lane Blacktop (spine no. 414) by Monte Hellman, a film that was out of print for years which stars the Beach Boys’ Dennis Wilson and James Tayor in their only ever acting roles.  Last month they dropped Mishima: A Life In Four Chapters (spine no. 432) another visually stunning film, directed by Paul Schrader (screenwriter of Taxi Driver).  This film was important for me because it was the first film that i rented when i became a member of TLA Video and dove into the world of independent and foreign cinema.  I remember spending hours discussing the modern set designs by Eiko Ishioka (who recently was creative director for the opening ceremonies to the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing) with my good friend Jack and they’re correlation to the theories of ‘modernization of Japan’ by the films subject Yukio Mishima.  I couldn’t ask for more from the folks at The Criterion Collection.  Well i guess i don’t have to.  I just noticed on their site that they plan to release the first Wes Anderson film Bottle Rocket (spine no. 450) in November.  I revel in the fact that DVD’s in my regular collection that are begging to be produced into a high quality release loaded with special features are being taken under the wing of The Criterion CollectionBottle Rocket might be my most beloved Wes Anderson film.  After the release of Rushmore and prior to the release of The Darjeeling Limited, Janus Films (owners of The Criterion Collection) had exclusive right to releasing The Royal Tenenbaums and The Life Aquatic.  I only hope that they can continue to produce such great DVD (and soon Blu-Ray discs) for years to come.  I have a few suggestions though.  Ed Wood by Tim Burton, Badlands by Terrence Malick, The Long Goodbye and McCabe And Mrs. Miller by Robert Altman, and finally Kundun by Martin Scorsese.

   

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Published in: on 16 August, 2008 at 8:53 pm  Comments (1)  

Sorry You Missed Out

Last week i went into Target and found this great permanent market set from Bic. It was on sale for $11, complete with 36 various colors to reflect your mood. sayin’.

Bic Permanent Markers Pack

Published in: on 11 August, 2008 at 4:08 pm  Comments (1)